This piece originally appeared in Side by Side Magazine.
Now entering its fourth season, QUEER, ILL, & OK is a performance series that features Queer-identified artists exploring their relationships to chronic illness. Last year’s production took place July 24 &Ā 25, Ā at the Storefront Theater.Ā Leading up to the show, + talked with performer Ireashia MonĆØt about her many, many forms of expression, QIOĀ curator and creator Joseph Varisco (of JRVMajesty Productions), reading Alice Walker and more!
THE INTERVIEW
Every community knows this but I feel like I hear it Ā a lot in the queer community:Ā that sentiment ofĀ āIf we donāt tell our stories, who will?ā
Yeah, it brings up that quote, I think it was Zora Neale Hurston, itās like āIf you donāt say youāre in pain, theyāll likeā¦ā I donāt know, Iām Ā butchering the fuck out of the quote but,Ā basically, if you donāt talk about whatās hurting you or whatās going on, theyāll Ā say that you enjoyed your life.Ā (Ed: ‘If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.’ )
Especially coming up in a time whereĀ weāre taking our own narratives andĀ telling our stories because we were so afraid to before.
Is there background you wantĀ give to the piece youāre going to do at QIO?Ā
Well, yeah, I sufferĀ a lot fromĀ invisible ailments.Ā And these illnessesĀ interfere with my everyday living. Sometimes Iām in constant pain, Iām very weak. I have a lot of mental anxiety and stuff like that. This past year was a really hard year for me. My grandfather died a year or so ago, and soĀ my family, weāre all still grieving, going through that grieving period. During this time I felt really stuckĀ Ā in-between a lot of things, not really knowing if my life was going anywhere. Thatās when I started to develop a lot of my visual artwork and aĀ lot of my spoken word pieces.
I think what I bring to QUEER, ILL, & OK is more visibility to black, queer women of gender variationĀ who suffer from visible and invisible disability. And sharing how we deal with that. Iām kind of Ā breaking down, or demolishing that āStrong, Independent Black Womanā stereotype thatās forced upon us.
What did you wanna do with journalism when you first started?
I studied magazine journalism, which is more long-form, Ā narrative-type journalism. My focus is film, music, culture, and talking about social issues. How do musicians deal with whatever theyāre absorbingĀ in their environment, and how do they manifest that in the music they make?
I was also interested in photojournalism-Ā Iām still interested in photojournalism! Like, all this is still continuing. I love being around people, I love hearing peopleās opinions, their stories. I love capturing them for who they are, their essence. Ā I guess I use journalism to break out of my own introverted-ness. Through that I learned that I can do that with my own story;Ā I can express it in any way I want to.
Ā I just asked somebody the other day if they were an artist and they told me they preferred the word āCreator.ā
Mmhmm.
Because itās like, everything, you know?
I just want to encourage other people to just be as free as they wanna be.
Thereās gonna be obstacles but you can always find a way over, under, between, behind. Thereās always ways for liberation and this piece that Iām going to perform is [about] how even despite all this racial tension, political uncertainty, and a lot of spiritual unrest in myself, Ā I still found the time, the power, and the energy to really look beyond all of this and see that thereās nothing really stopping me and to try to grasp or attain any dream or vision that I see.
Have you metĀ JoeĀ [Varisco, curator of QUEER, ILL, & OK]?
Yeah! I met him a few days ago, we were talking about my performance. Heās very nice, heās been very helpful and supportive through this whole process. He actually mentioned you, emanuel.
*Laughs*
I forgot what we were talking about, but he was like āemanuel vinson.ā
Aww! *Laughs* Thatās cool. I love Joe, heās so sweet and so hard-working. Heās got such a bigger picture, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Heās just so about it.
He was really nice. You should applyĀ next year!
I wanna do something that heās doing but Iām not sure QUEER, ILL, & OK is the placeĀ for me as a performer. But as an audience member and as a community member I feel really filled by it and grateful. I mean, when I saw that you were doing it it was like Heaven,Ā it was so awesome. *Laughs* Do you know any of the other performers that are in it this year?
I know Sky Cubacub. Do you know Sky?
No, no.
QIO photos by Kiam Marcelo Junio
Sky has a company calledĀ Rebirth Garments. She does a lot of clothing for trans-bodied folks, disabled, and plus-sized people. She also has really cool jewelry that she makes with chainmail and she has this really cool headpiece that she wears that looks kind of like armor. Sheās just a really genuine, open, beautiful person.
Iām actually modeling for her in a show and itās gonna be really nice. Sheās the only person that I know but I look forward to meeting the other artists andĀ understanding their vision as well.
What else are you working onĀ besides QUEER, ILL, & OK?
Oh, man, thatās a big question.
*Laughs* Maybe a couple things?
Something that Iām really passionate about right now:Ā Iām doingĀ Script Analysis for Amir Georgeās upcoming film Decadent Asylum. Itās still in production. Itās like an afro-surrealist film, basing the imagery from different types of symbolism and stuff like that. Itās very abstract in a way, but itās really cool to be on a film set and be a part of it.
Iām Ā doing a short film that Iām writing a script forĀ Ā about black motherhood and breaking downĀ expectations of mothers. Looking at my own personal relationship with my mother and developing, even through this film, how we perceive motherhood, and how limiting that idea of āWhat is a Good Mother?ā vs āWhat is a Bad Mother?ā [can be].Ā That kind of thing.
And Iām also looking at grad schools, so I have a lot of things.Ā Iām justĀ all over the place. But itās gonna be a cool few months in Chicago. Iām still tryna get out and start performing again. Performing moreĀ with spoken word and stuff like that.
Iām tryna get in touch with Young Chicago Authors, just going in and performingĀ there. Itās so close, itās like āHow can I not?ā In the meantime Iām just, like, going to art shows, hanging out with people. Living. *Laughs*
I love that you just said so many things. Itās hard to get good at something!
I love failing. I mean, I hate it but it pushes me you know? Like āDamn, I really…I really fucked up, huh?ā SoĀ I try it again, and I try to get it right and, yeah,Ā I get discouraged but my own self-doubt and my own barriers, I wanna get beyond those. Thatās why Iām so focused on this performance. Iām afraid as fuck. Iām not gonna let fear get the best of me, you know? And I wanna give the audience my best.
Iām really grateful that I have the time to meditate on this performance.Ā Last year I was running around doing all this other shit and I didnāt really have time for myself, but now [that]Ā Iām done with college Ā I can reallyĀ calm down and think about this and really meditate on it.
Cool. Iāma ask a couple more quick things. What are you reading, what are you listening to, and if youāre watching anything…?
Iām reading Alice Walkerās In Search of OurĀ Mothers’Ā Gardens. Itās a series of essays sheās written since the 60s, through the 80s andĀ 90s. And it talks about her as a black writer, her days in the segregated South when she was in an interracial relationship. She talks about womanism, what it means to be a womanist, how she would describe a womanist. And also a lot about other writers, like Zora Neale Hurston and James Baldwin. Jean Toomer. All these names that I never really heard about but her essays really brought them to me in a very critical way and at a critical point in my life as a black woman. As someone whoās absorbing all this, like, energy around me, noticing all of the racial⦠just all the fucked up shit in the world. Ā Itās been kind of a solace to read her words.
Iām listening to a lot of Kendrick Lamar, a lot of Toots &Ā the Maytals, Jimmy Cliff, Nneka. And Nina Simone. Ā *Laughs* So thereās where Iām at. *Laughs*
And Iām watchingĀ re-runs of The Boondocks and this Netflix series Sense8. Which is about this group of people who share this common thread between them. They were all born on the same dayĀ and they can look into each otherās lives andĀ help out. I guess itāsĀ about empathy,Ā in a way. Like, imagine a world where we could all just feel each otherās pain and we could all live in other peopleās shoes, like, how would we react, how would we be? How different would the world be? So I really like that series a lot.
Iāve seen previews for that, thatās cool. And finally, is there anything else that you wish more people knew, either about you or anything?
Um. I guess people already know this, but I just wanna say on the record:Ā Iām a super introverted person but⦠Iām like an introvert/extrovertĀ type thing. So I think people donāt really know how to approach me but if youāre just like āYo, we should chill!ā Iād be really receptive to it and I think thatās something Ā Iāve been trying to come to terms with in myself.
Itās kind of an awkward situation. But other than that, nah.
Soon, you’ll be able to purchase tickets to this year’s QUEER, ILL & OK, or make a tax-deductible donationĀ to the production. Follow QIO on Facebook and stay tuned!